why i hate being chinese

if you've read my previous blog, you probably have an idea of what i mean and where i'm coming from... i maybe wrong or right, but i know i'm not alone in thinking this way.

1. chinese always have the superior mentality and judgemental.
it's true. this is the reason why inter-cultural marriages are not welcomed in the chinese tradition. even filipino friends are even treated differently. a sample dialogue with my mom shall illustrate the extent of what i'm saying...

me: ma, i'll be doing a project at my friend's house tomorrow night. (in filipino)
mom: ano yung kaibigan mo? chinese o filipino? (in chinese language)

rather than asking first what time i'll be home, or where does that friend live, the first question will be about the race of the person. our culture also has come up with words (that eventually evolved to common language) that are very discriminating. if you've heard words such as huwa na, it is usally referred to as maid. but the etymology actually means something like querida.

another example that will illustrate this mentality is another conversation that happened among us friends in school. this actually happened.

friend a: grabe, ilan kayong chinese sa block? kami dalawa lang.

what i wanted to comment then was, well, go to china and study there, so you won't have to mingle with non-chinese.

i am proud to say that among my friends, i guess i have the most non-chinese friends. not that i hate my chinese friends, but there's a different rapport that i have with my non-chinese friends.

even among us friends, a lot of my fellow chinese are against our friends having filipino boyfriends. you'd often hear the comments... "eh kasi filipino eh."


2. chinese are mukhang pera.
well, in my family's case, it's true. admittedly, i do conduct buy and sell, but it's just to support my self as i will hopefully be independent soon.

i once heard my mom saying, "wala naman kuwenta yung love love na yan eh. pera lang ang kailangan mo sa mundong ito."

i strongly hope that i don't become someone like that. although it's important, money does not own me. my world doesn't revolve around it. and, yes mother, that's what i learned in school.


3. chinese are very traditional.
most of my chinese friends are in BS courses in ateneo, and most even fall under the school of management. i have a friend that's just half chinese and she told me that if she didn't take management course, she would not be allowed to study in ateneo.

when i asked what she plans to do after graduation, one of my chinese friends said that "i'll be managing the family business." as a follow up, i asked, "why not work in some other environment first and start from the bottom, so you'll know how it is really to manage?" she said, "wala akong magagawa. yan ang gusto ng parents ko eh" thankfully, i was able to avoid that fate.

that's actually one of the reasons why i decided to invest in an advertising career. for most chinese, it's a new and unexplored field. i would often hear my advertising teachers say that a lot of chinese businessmen don't trust advertising. if they do, most of them hire their own children to be the talents in their ad. kuripot kasi. this is an excerpt of my conversation with my mom almost a year ago.

me: i'll be having my practicum in an ad agency.
mom: bakit sa advertising agency? bakit hindi na lang sa business natin?
me: eh yun ang gusto ko eh. (but at the back of my mind... eh kasi wala kayong alam doon.)

another chinese friend is taking legal management. and guess what she wants to be after grad? she's taking up med. weird. why? because she said that all the manghuhulas she asked said that she can't put up her own business. the best career for her is to be a doctor. fine! this brings me to the next reason.


4. chinese are very superstitious
i know that filipinos are too, but with chinese, it's overrated. here are some of the queer yet unreasonable traditions that we have.

a. for very conservative chinese families, we are not allowed to wear black.
b. if we happen to visit a friend or a relative who passed away in a funeral parlor, we have to eat candies, and not say goodbye to the family of the dead when we leave. also, we have to pass by somewhere first before we get home, so we won't bring the kamalasan to our house.
c. we cannot give watches, clocks, or any time pieces as gifts. why? because it's like saying... "you're time is up!"
d. we also cannot give shoes or any other footwear as gifts. why? because it's like you're stepping the person to the ground...
e. there is such a thing as good time, good day, and bad time, bad day. i happen to be a victim of this. i cannot do a lot of activities because my mom would reason out that it's a bad time for me.
f. they strictly believe in the compatibility among the chinese zodiac.
g. usually, what the manghuhula says is the law.
h. in attending birthday parties, we should all wear red. goodbye fashion!
i. chinese are strict followers of feng shui. because it is wrong to have the bathroom as the center of the house, my mom would always blame that as the reason behind the failure of our family.
j. some of our clothes are brought to the temples to be blessed.
k. we are supposed to carry a anting-anting in our wallets and cars.
l. we are not supposed to possess things that are colored black. (even cars)
m. after marriage, there's such a thing that newly weds need to do which is to walk down the stairs backward, and drink tea.
n. chinese are so fond of circular objects.
o. we're not supposed to make the chopstick tusok to our rice bowls.


5. traditional chinese reduce relationships as something obligatory.
most chinese parents define love as "being able to give my children's physical needs." they disregard the more important intangibles like friendship, genuine love, understanding, bond, etc. money is regarded highly by most of them. it's as if their world revolves around it. they don't really care about feelings, emotions, and dignities of other people as long as they get money.


6. chinese are generally bastos.
kwak doo is a term that my fellow chinese friends came up years ago. it's the sound that is produced when old chinese spit along the roads in chinatown. now you have an idea why chinatowns all over the world is dirty. *alert! missing manners!* also, this is what i notice often among chinese people. say i were in a scenario with my mother and my filipino friend. my mom will speak chinese in front of her. out of delicadeza, i answer back in filipino. why? i don't want to make my friend feel that we're talking bad about her.