random thoughts on the 3rd of august, 2004

song playing on my pc: you make me smile by carol banawa

in my three years in college, i have never been this busy in my entire life. as i have mentioned, i am taking 24 units inclusive of an individual year-long thesis, and a lot of uber reading subjects. i am not really a fan of books, so i guess i am in deep sh*t now. aside from academic stuffs, i am also getting myself to be active in organizations and things related to career. i am a member of four organizations, a bowling team member, an officer in a major departmental event (with the task of getting sponsorship from companies-- the worst one can imagine), and a unofficial consultant to numerous projects of my fellow "table-mates". plus, i went back to playing basketball for an intramural athletic competition. all these and still getting to bond with my friends. if you ask me how i get to manage my time, i don't even have a clue myself. don't worry, i can attest that i am a failure at this, but i still manage to survive, but barely.

am i happy? yeah. i feel a lot better doing a lot of stuffs rather than getting bored all day. am i tired? yes. very much. i've never had so many sleepless nights such as what i am experiencing now. i haven't had the chance to really rest at home and just eat or watch television all day. i haven't missed so much great movies in my life. i haven't been this addicted to my computer since i got it. and i haven't had bigger eye bags than today. do i want it to end soon? this is what i ask more than anything else.

so why punish yourself, you ask?

well, it's hard. i had the option to go on a super light load or this. not that i am a geek or anything, but i just seem to have a new outlook in life. i have become much more impulsive in the sense that i'd rather take what i can take now since there is no guarantee that these subjects would be available again next sem. and the bigger factor is that i don't really want to have so much available time to make me ponder about my problems. i'd rather tire myself to sleep than cry myself to sleep.

next semester will definitely be a better load for me. i will still be taking 24 units inclusive of thesis, but it will be much easier since five of the eight subjects would be communications electives, and since they don't need much reading, i can have an easier time dealing with thesis and all the other subjects. i can have time to plan my vacation with my that is scheduled right after graduation. and i can have much more time preparing myself for either work or further studies.

right now, i am looking forward to october. i wish i can make it this sem.