27th january 2005: my first official worst day of the year

what can be worse than....

1. having your period on the day before your immersion

2. failing another theology quiz because of stupid tricky questions that misled you (considering you thought you were sure of your answers)

3. knowing a close friend has a problem with his groupmates and yet you still can't do anything to help

4. getting ditched by a friend whom your supposed to meet up in school and hours after, you kept calling her phone and she doesn't pick up and after sometime she finally answers and tells you she's in some resto in greenhills and she wants you to come over and have dinner there and as you get to greenhills she tells you that she has to leave

5. getting ditched by another friend whom you already made plans with since saturday night last week and you even had the plan confirmed last night

6. waiting for your turn in an oral exam and there are 15 people ahead of you with an average of 20 minutes per person, therefore making you wait even after the class is supposed to end

7. failing that same oral exam, of your favorite subject, of the teacher who has so much expectations of you and in spite of reviewing it over and over again with your groupmates hours before

8. getting to makati and you find out that there the meeting has to be moved to a later time and you're already on your way but you can't stay long

9. finding out one of your close friends so down that she is thinking of committing suicide and yet she's so far and you can't do anything about it.

10. people around you just being too insensitive.

everything happened today. if not for louie and buds, i wouldn't have survived this day.

random thoughts on the 25th of january, 2005

1. gma 7's job offerings are not for graduating ateneo seniors. they're for those who are already in the industry.

2. today in theo class, i raised another question: one of the church's official stand on labor and employee welfare is that the employees must be compensated on what is due to them. okay. isn't it difficult to quantify which between a managerial position and a blue-collar job deserves a higher pay?

3. there is something unique about japanese women. as my friend pointed out in a 3 am phone conversation, japanese women have relatively smaller body frame. unlike other asians, hindi sila tabain.

4. maybe some fortune-telling really work huh. though, i'm still scared of what i'd find out so i never really had my fortune told.

5. job fairs suck. for both up and ateneo, all you see are companies for the management students. banks, consumer good corporations, and call centers reign supreme. where are the more interesting companies?

6. i have four of the mcdonald's chinese horoscope stuffed animal toys. i still can't figure out if they're too expensive or too cheap.

7. this week i will have immersion. when i get back, i'll be having a basketball semis game, thesis defense, philo orals, physical therapies, and tons of research work to do for theo reporting and events managment class. oh dear.

8. for this year, there are no concerts interesting enough to watch. gone are the reminiscin' days.

9. i'm dying to have my own copy of my sassy girl.

10. by saturday, i would have skipped bowling practice for three weeks.

11. on thursday night, i will be going out, drinking and observing alcopop drinkers for class.

12. i wish i were better in solving brain teasers.

13. i will be travelling once every two months. and i will go out of the country at least once a year.

14. i will study cooking before i get a job.

15. i might have to cancel boracay for palawan and bangkok!

people can be insensitive most of the time

i feel bad for my friend today. you see, she's heading a show (one of her org's projects) and most of the people she was hoping would go have turned her down. my friend and i were expecting these people to come considering when they were heading their respective projects, we supported them all the way. and now, they are giving the most unvalid excuses for their absence.

there's this girl... she didn't come from our high school. because she was friends with some of my friends from high school, she has become a part of our table group at the caf. personally, i dislike her (and a lot from our "adopted" table group mates). why? she acts as if she deserves everyone's attention. she's not someone who you can have a decent conversation with. she acts like she were some boss. (side story. when my friend invited his blockmates --she included to his rest house, she didn't even bother to help in the clean-up. she only offered to when the clean-up was already done.) she is seriously in dire need of attention, eavesdropping to almost all the conversations in the table.

anyway, my friend was manning the booth for the ticket sales, and this girl passed by along with one of our table group mates. she was there telling my friend that she wouldn't be able to go. okay. it seems that there's really nothing offensive about it. however, she goes on, telling my friend about some of our table group mates doing a toss coin on whether or not to go. and the result of the toss coin was that they wouldn't go. SHE JUST HAD TO SAY IT. and of course, like any normal sensitive human being, my friend felt really bad. to add more insult to the injury, the girl was even laughing when she was telling my friend about it.

TOSS COIN? what the hell?! when we watched their movie premiers or ate their food products, bought the things they were selling, we never tossed coin. we said yes, even with hesitation, still we obliged. we had to make prior arrangements if there were conflicts in schedules, if there were no transportation available, but we still went and did our part.

no wonder i have lost zeal over my friends from the table group. i wish they get an idea of how insensitive they are.

our apologies sir sev

there's something about today that makes me feel so low, feel so embarrassed. it's not that i did something that can be featured in the bloopers section of teen magazines. this morning in class, sir sev's face was enough to make me want to hide from him for more than a year.

you see, due to cramming and hectic schedules, we did one lousy project. from the A that we got in the first project, sir sev wanted to give us an F for this one. and i could not get myself to protest since i know that he's right, a hundred percent.

i got his point that since we're all seniors and we've been under him for quite a while, he's expecting a lot from us, and here we are, submitting a totally lousy project, and even the remedial one wasn't even enough. it was really nice of him to give us another chance to make up for it, saying that he believes that we can do it.

it just kills me to think i fell below someone's expectation especially that someone is one of the fewer people who i actually look up to. i think of him as my pseudo dad. and he's the type of professor who can easily get the affection of the students--he's smart, funny, sweet (in a very contradicting way), openminded, and he's willing to learn from the youth and enjoy being with our company. he is the coolest teacher one can imagine.

i'll miss him. i'll miss the anecdotes he constantly gives us during group discussions. i'll miss the way he would call me by my full name saying that my first name is one of those that needs to be called with the last name. i'll miss the way he impersonates our advertising teacher (who was also his), our batchmates, his fellow teachers, and celebrities, especially the gay ones. i'll miss the chismis he would share with us. i'll miss the way he expresses his love for jollibee, chicken joy. i'll miss the way he mocks and loves the filipino culture. i'll miss the way he gives us pieces of advice like a dad would do. and it's sad that we have left him a bad impression just when we were about to part ways.

why the world suffered

okay. i'm not a fan of theology. i do, however, manage to listen attentively to theo classes, mainly because of how good our professor is. our topic since the start of 2005 is about creation. naturally, we had to discuss the tsunami incident. great. as expected, this question was raised...

"was it part of God's plan for all the tsunami victims to suffer since He created the world?"

our theo teacher shared us something that caught my attention. she got this while watching CNN. there was a small conference of the world religious leaders on the tragic incident. each of them were interviewed and asked about their opinions on the matter. the Catholic leader gave some cliche answers that didn't even impress my teacher. ironically, she said, it was the Jewish leader who gave the most decent answer. he said something like if we notice, no animals were really part of the statistics of the casualties. why? it's basically because these animals are still closely connected with nature, still knowing what course it (nature) will be taking, thus fortunately for them, they get to escape danger. while us human beings, we have severed our relationship and connection with nature and God, thus, we no longer have any idea on what nature will be giving us.

weird as it may sound, but somehow, it got me thinking, deeply.

had a thought today. i'd have to start working my ass of in two or three months time... hopefully... but i have started giving up on my ambitious plans to even get to save a 100K at least by the end of the year. my friend was right, no matter how much you work your ass off, you can't save as much money as you want if you're staying here in this country, unless you're a professional (lawyer, doctor, etc.), a business owner, a celebrity, a professional athlete, a politician, or a corrupt government official. rarely do normal employees earn enough to even save for rent.

case in point. last summer, during my practicum in the glamorous world of an advertising agency, i was exposed to the truth. the agency that i worked with is a multinational firm, in fact, it's one of the more popular around the world. one of my bosses there, an account executive graduated from ateneo two years ago. since then, she has been with the agency. since then, her salary has been 10k net. she has been asking for a raise, and yet, until today, she still has to wait for another six months to get a 2k raise. her counterpart on the client side (who only handles one brand), say from unilever, on the other hand gets almost 30k a month. how sad is that? our department boss who also handles multiple brands earns a mere 40k, while unilever's counterpart would get almost twice the pay.

when i learned about this, i sat and contemplated about this harsh reality. i have personally witnessed these people spending their nights in the office and they don't even get paid for overtime. the only bonus they get is having their dinner charged to their clients. they don't even get cash. plus, they don't get their company-related expenses reimbursed on time. thank God these people belong to well-off families, if not, only God knows how these people can actually survive.

my boss was right. her parents invested a lot of money for her ateneo education. at least from the school's current rate, it's now P40,000 plus a sem for tuition alone. allowance, transportation, food expenses are not part of the amount. now, she only gets paid such a low salary.

my advertising teacher shared with me a joke they have in the industry. AEs (account executives) live a class A lifestyle, with a class E salary, which is undeniably true. what makes matters even worse for these people is that they are usually treated badly by their clients. they literally are their slaves. and the saddest fact of it all, these AEs prepare the contracts for the talents of the different ads. they see that artista A gets paid 80k for just one stupid provincial show to promote product X. when i was doing these papers, i felt bad myself. from movies, television shows, and other forms of medium, advertising people are portrayed as living a glamorous life. they look rich. in reality, they don't. my bosses would often complain on how difficult it is for them to make both ends meet. of course, the people on top really do earn a lot, but come to think of it, only a handful gets to be fortunate to last in the industry long enough to make them earn so much.

last night on oprah, donald trump was giving pieces of advice on "how to be rich". first thing he emphasized was that you need to enjoy what you do. with our country's current economic condition, having the luxury of enjoying your work (or working on what you enjoy the most) and at the same time earning a lot is quite impossible.

last saturday night, i tried my hand on budgeting my possibly would-be salary when i start working. suppose i'd earn 12k a month (a supposed standard for fresh grads) here is my budget breakdown:

mrt from to makati* (if i'd get a job there): 14 bucks x 2 a day x 5 days a week x 4 weeks in a month = 560

trike from mrt station to house: 20 bucks x 5 days a week x 4 weeks in a month = 400

food (supposing i'd spend 100 a day): 100 bucks x 5 days a week x 4 weeks in a month = 2000

phone bills: 1250 bucks a month = 1250

personal care products and other grocery items: 1000 bucks a month = 1000

night outs: 350 a night x 2 saturdays in a month = 700

movie: 150 per movie x 3 movies in a month = 450

miscellaneous: 800 bucks a month = 800

a grand total of P 7,160 a month.

thus i only get to save: P 4,840 a month.

4840 x 12 + 12,000 (13th month pay) = P 70,080 is the only amount i can realistically save in a year's time.

if this were the case, it would actually take me...

two years to get a 15-inch superdrive powerbook (without virtual pc and office for mac).

more than a decade to earn enough for a brand new car.

more than a decade to earn enough for a trip abroad (either in europe or in the states).

more than two decades to earn enough for my own condo.

more than three decades to send one child to school (from nursery to college).

it's true. the things being sold in this country are relatively cheap if one converts his dollar to peso. however... think about it. if our cost of living is so high in this country and we have such a low value of currency, then we're dead. unlike in the states, things might appear more expensive, but a lot more people can actually afford them because of how high their employees earn there. not to mention, the products there in the states have more variety, quality is assured, and customer's satisfaction and rights are indeed guaranteed and prioritized. for instance, if one is not happy with the product (even a shirt) that he/she bought, he/she can actually return it to the store without any questions within 30 days and will even get his/ her money back. i have known people who have moved to the states and it took them less than a year to save up for a second hand car.

reality has set in. now, what the hell do i do? i am very much tempted to defy what i have said earlier and move to some other countries to earn currencies of higher value than the peso. my friend shared with me yesterday than she has a friend who now works in singapore, in her twenties, who gets paid around P60,000 a month with all her transportation, food, phone (IDDs included), and lodging expenses answered by the company. it'll probably take me forever to have that for a salary if i stayed in this country.

when i watched the news lately, especially of the OFWs who survived the tsunami, i feel for them. as much as they miss their families, and fear their lives endangered, they'd rather work abroad because in no way can they earn enough for their family to eat three decent meals in a day in this country. as the filipino doctor in maldives featured in pipol last week said in the interview, with the huge compensation you get, what you get paid for is not only your talent, but more of your homesickness. and for them it's really worth it. sadly, i would have to agree with them.

random thoughts on the second night of the new year

pucha. 2005 na.


if i remember it right, here are the few things i actually achieved last 2004:

1. made peace with two of my closest friends.
2. made war with three comm people. (no regrets on my part.)
3. learned to be more upfront.
4. finally drove alone.
5. completed simbang gabi.
6. completed 2 month and a half long practicum.
7. dean's lister for the second sem of school year 03-04.
8. finished my first thesis draft. (now, i have also finished my second thesis draft... hooray!)
9. killed two roaches, without anyone's help.
10. went back to playing basketball.
11. gained and lost weight.
12. started a filipino movies collection.
13. arranged one huge reunion.



what i plan to do this year:

1. get a diploma.
2. take law school entance exams. (for the hell of it.)
3. look for a job (or two) that i like.
4. save at least 100k.
5. make wall-climbing a regular hobby.
6. kart-racing.
7. pursue drinking nights with bea and sid. (guys, please reconsider your plan to leave for the states =) )
8. take photography more seriously.
9. shop at british india.
10. watch more movies.
11. play more games in both pc and ps2.
12. bora, palawan, bali.
13. climb another mountain.
14. lose more pounds.
15. read more books. (david sedaris' books seem interesting...)
16. do self-study on adobe photoshop, premier, and flash.
17. shoplift.
18. smoke mj, once. =)
19. hopefully, move out of the house.
20. drink more, eat less.
21. a road trip to vigan.
22. attend a cooking school.
23. room make-over.
24. closet make-over. (sid, i'm sure you're happy to hear this...)
25. get drunk.
26. get a new computer.
27. bacolod and baguio.
28. get monthly massages.
29. audition in a voice talent search.
30. watch more plays.
31. help the calamity victims.
32. get a westie.
33. eat magnolia ice cream (thank God it's back)
34. complete again the simbang gabi.
35. learnt to play the piano and guitar.
36. spend this year's new year's eve somewhere aside from house.
37. get myself board shorts and havianas.
38. finish a coloring book.


i will...
1. be more upfront.
2. be more patient.
3. be less expectant.
4. be less competitive.
5. be less indolent.
6. take things more seriously.
7. talk less, do more.
8. get away from people whose company i don't really enjoy.
9. be more honest.
10. be less paranoid.


my last year's...

favorite food craving: pork barbecue, tokyo tokyo's red iced tea,
new food discoveries: jamaican pie, chocolate kiss' fried chicken strips, reyes barbecue, brazil! brazil!, healthy kitchen's tuna teriyaki.
favorite movies: laws of attraction, the terminal, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, 50 first dates, the incredibles, shrek 2.
favorite cable movie: kung ako na lang sana
most frequently LSSed songs: destiny child's lose my breath, usher's confession part II, sunday morning (before it became famous), and the stupid novelty songs
favorite album: regine's covers
favorite class: fr. que's philo of ethics
usual hang-out spots: greenbelt and powerplant
favorite television shows: queer eye, sex and the city, six feet under, pipol, f!
new television show discoveries: one tree hill, meet my folks, amazing race, the apprentice, dateline nbc.
favorite drink: tang mango
favorite alcoholic drink: san mig light, miller, bea's alcoholic jello shots, and tequilla rose
most extravagant expense: my 8k phone bill
my most worth it discovery: sun cellular's 247 call and text unlimited
weird experience: saw an old man enter the women's restroom in powerplant mall
biggest regrets: missed a lot of great movies, missed regine's concert, played too much solitaire, not cross-enrolling in UP, slept too much, didn't get to help any of the calamity victims.
biggest disappointments: theo 151, some comm people, my indolence.
achievements: thesis' first draft, practicum, saved money, lost appetite, bought less magazines, kicked someone's ass.